Although every couple is unique, as wedding planners, there aren’t many things that we haven’t seen, heard or been asked. Your wedding day is about two people getting married, but often the people around you in your life can complicate the situation and make it hard for you to focus on what you want. Before you know it, a small niggle can end up dictating your whole day.
The great thing about having a wedding planning team is that you have someone completely impartial that you can ask for advice! We put our heads together and have come up with some of our most-asked (and most awkward) questions from the bride or groom. Here are our top five, in reverse order:
5: The relative who becomes the wedding drunk
Now, every wedding has a wedding drunk and it can be a form of entertainment in itself, but when that drunk is dear old Aunty Mildred, it’s not quite so funny. If drink is a genuine issue, then it can be a good idea not to have wine on the table. After all, a table full of “free” wine will always be drunk with gusto, before guests proceed onto another bottle (or two), or their preferred drink. You can allocate a bottle or more of each colour of wine per table but ask your wedding planner about table service. This will help to modify the drinking and make sure that Aunt Mildred is still compos mentis by the time the main course arrives.
4: Privacy issues
Your day is yours, and yours alone, and while you may want to shout your love for each other from the rooftops, you may not necessarily want your wedding to be a free for all. Some wedding venues have more than one wedding a day, which can make your special day feel a little bit less special, not to mention you running the risk of bumping into someone that you would rather not see. What’s more, if you opt for a church wedding, literally anybody can attend the ceremony itself. At Ocean Kave, there is no way that anybody other than those invited by you will be able to come. So, if you have security issues, a jealous ex, or an awkward family situation, don’t panic: our team are the epitome of discretion and they will make sure that they don’t give out information regarding your wedding prior to the big day, and that only invited guests, and maybe some local fauna, are in attendance.
3: The Mumzilla
We don’t want to generalise, but it is not uncommon for couples to confide in us that they are feeling overpowered by a strong-minded relative or close friend. And, more often than not, it’s a mother, sister or chief bridesmaid. In the approach to the wedding and on the day itself, your wedding planner will be on hand to help you with advice and logistics, but they can also be your buffer between you and other people, leaving you to enjoy your day. If your mum, mum-in-law-to-be, or any other member of your party is being a little overbearing, discreetly let us know. The beauty of having a wedding planner is that you can blame it all on us: instead of saying that you disagree with the future in-law’s demands, blame it on the wedding planner: “That’s a great idea, but the wedding planner said…….” We will only ever take instructions from the couple unless they have given us full permission to discuss and plan with a relative/friend.
If you have an unexpected surprise before your wedding – congratulations! There is no better way to celebrate your nuptials than with the pitter patter of tiny feet on the horizon. However, we understand that you may not want your guests to know, for a number of reasons: maybe it is a little early to tell the world; you might want to spend the day focusing on the two of you, and not your new arrival; you may want to keep it your special secret for a little bit longer; or maybe you just don’t want to be greeted by catcalls of “shotgun” on one of the most magical days of your life (we know we wouldn’t!). Our wedding planners are the sole of discretion; let your planner know your joyful news and they will make sure that they keep you topped up with something suitably alcoholic-looking so that you aren’t faced with any awkward questions.
1: Blended families
In at number one most-awkward wedding situation is working out how to seat blended families. These days it is unusual to see a wedding where both couple’s parents are still married (to each other). However, it is not until they broach the seating plan topic that the reality of the situation can dawn on some couples. Some couples are even reluctant to plan their wedding at all, because they can’t possibly see how their divorced parents or warring siblings can be in the same room as each other, let alone sit at the same table. While every familial situation is unique, this is a situation that our team have seen countless times. Some couples choose to isolate themselves and rather than having to “choose” which parent to sit with, they opt for a sweetheart table for two during the wedding breakfast. Whilst romantic in theory, this can be a lonely option; particularly when you are in a room filled with the people that you love most! One option that we have found best is to eschew the tradition of having a top table for the couple and their parents, but for the couple to sit with their bridal party instead. After all, these are the people that you have chosen to take on a special role in your day, and who you are likely to have the most fun with. Place the separated parents and other nearest and dearest on tables either side of you, so that everyone has equal “status” but they are not forced to make awkward small talk.
Do you have an awkward question that is making you anxious in the run up to your big day? Let us know in confidence and we will give you our honest opinion!